Super Paper Sonic
by Listie The Scribe Maid
Summary: What happens when you take a Dark eBook, a floating jester constanly annoyed by fangirls, potential EggmanxAmy and basically a Mario-esque Navi? I dunno. And that's the premise. Deadicated to ThatNintendoFangirl and Acro111.
1. Chapter Intro

**A/N: From the warped mind that brought you _Sonic the Satire_ and _Hotel Sonic_ comes something you thought you'd probably never see... SOMETHING INVOLVING ACTUAL MARIO! Sadly, I have chosen to write this in script format (buy your torches and pitchforks here) but I've already established myself as a writer who uses "asked" and "said" WAY too much. Well, Anyways, please enjoy my acid trip.**

_**Let me tell you a story nobody cares about. Once upon time there was nothing and then there was **_**Howard the Duck****_ and then Super Paper Mario appeared and ThatNintendoFanGirl tried to write it, but failed, and this obssesive fangirl started to "annoy" the jester and now I'm here, telling you this lame story. But let's get on with it because this is really just filler._**

**Chapter Intro:  
><strong>**Bestiality, eBooks and the Third Person**

_Amy was just waking from a long black out. She had been in her hotel room the previous night and now, bam, she was in the middle of an alter where a bunch of Eggman's robots were watching!...wait, what? Um, anyways, Eggman was there too, along with what looked like a floating accountant and some whit-caped Dracula wannabe. Well, actually, you couldn't see much past his AWESOME moncle. The man/thing/Dracula cleared his throat._

**White Dracula:** We have gathered to join these two in unholy matrimony for no real reason by Count Bleck!

**Amy:** Wait, me and Fatso over there?

**Dr. Eggman:** Hey, Fatsos have feelings too ya know!

**Amy:** Isn't that kinda bestiality?

**Accountant:** Yeah, uh, no, I did the paperwork so it's technically legal. I mean, we previously tried to do this to a turtle and a princess and you two are basically are option B. So just go along with it, K?

**Amy:** Well, not burst whatever bubble your floating in, but I'm not a princess.

**Count Bleck *muttering to Accountant*:** Count Bleck wants to know if it has to be a princess.

_The accountant pulled out an eBook and began to scan through it._

**Accountant:** Yeah, it has to be. These rules are pretty tight.

**Count Bleck:** Really? Let Count Bleck see that!

**Amy:** Oh, for the love of Grambi, will you stop speaking in the third person! You're not Elmo!

**Count Bleck:** Says who?

**Amy:** Says Amy!

**Count Bleck:** Count Bleck says don't do that!

**Amy:** Amy says she doesn't care.

**Count Bleck:** Count Bleck says he thinks you're mocking him.

**Amy:** Amy says you're kinda slow.

**Count Bleck:** Count Bleck says he is not!

_A bunch of Eggman's minions and Dr. Eggman were dancing along to a parody of Michael Jackson's "Thriller" called "Filler"._

**Amy:** Amy says you are too!

**Count Bleck:** Count Bleck says enough! You will get married young missy and you will like it!

_Count Bleck thought for a second._

**Count Bleck:** Also, gimme your VISA card.

_Amy relectantly handed it over._

**Count Bleck:** Ha ha! Now Count Bleck can charge your credit card bill up a duck's butt!

**Amy:** NO!

**Floating Jester (Who, BTW, is totally in no way in the Underwhere related to another jester who's name may or may not be similar to Dimentio):** Like a snail in molasses you are very slow! Hurry it the heck up!

_Amy and Count Bleck both muttered somethings rude under their breath and they went on with the ceremony. While the Accountant just texted something quickly to the Floating Hester. The Floating Jester just looked at it, got a look of dread and was then teleported away to two fangirls whose only goal in life was to torut- I mean ann- Ah, who am I kidding? They're torturing him._

**Accountant:** Anyways, while you two were bickering, I looked through the book and found out she only has to look like a princess. It's oddly specific, but at the same time a moron. We can all agree, K?

_Everybody agreed (K?) as Amy put the princess dress thingy on._

**Count Bleck:** OK, we have you in the dress-

_Amy nodded._

**Count Bleck:** -So all we need is a dragon.

_Everybody looked at Eggman._

**Dr. Eggman:** Uhm... OK, all we need is the fourth piece of the Triforce and-

**Minion #6563:** I got an old Barney the Dinosaur costume!

_Dr. Eggman's jaw hit the floor as the costume was forced on him._

**Minion #83693:** So we have Barney the Dinosaur getting married to what looks like Snow White by an Accountant and some kind of evil, possibly tragic, villainous Elmo impersonator... This wedding just got awesome!

**Count Bleck:** Count Bleck wants to get this all over with so let's just skip right to the end: Amy, do you take Fatso?

**Amy:** Well, if it's technically legal.

**Dr. Eggman:** You stupid! STOOPID!

**Count Bleck:** And now Count Bleck shall ask Fatso...

**Dr. Eggman:** Are you high? I'm not marring a hedgehog who doesn't really look like a hedgehog! This isn't just bestiality! It's paedophilia! PETA is gonna have your a**!

**Accountant:** Am I the only tired of his whining? Probably. So I'm just gonna make you say yes, K?

_Two red boxes were drawn around Eggman by a mouse cursor and he fell flat on his fat back._

**Accountant:** So just say yes, Fatso, and we can go, K?

**Dr. Eggman*struggling to keep control*:** N-n-n-n-no!

**Accountant:** Well, I guess I have to play hard no, K?

_Eggman jumped up in sudden pain as if he was just shocked and then he fell on his back._

**Accountant:** Now you gonna say yes?

**Dr. Eggman in extreme pain:** N-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-no!

**Accountant:** Fine. I'll just crank it up again, K?

_And so the Accountant did. This went on for a while until she got to, wait for it, DULL SURPRISE!...no, it was actually ONE POINT TWENTY ONE JIGGAWATTS! And by that point, Count Bleck, the Accountant and Amy were all sitting on the steps leading up to the altar as the minions goofed off._

**Accountant:** NOW?

**Dr. Eggman:** N-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-no!

_The Accountant threw his/her/its hands up._

**Accountant:** This is hopeless, K? He stutters more then the freaking "Stutter Rap"!

**Amy:** I'll give it a try.

_Amy went up to Eggman a held a gun to his head._

**Amy *imitating Ganon*:** YOU DARE NOT MARRY ME? YOU MUST DIE!

**Dr. Eggman *in sudden fear:** I'll do it! I'll do it! I'll do it! I'll do it! I'll do it! I'll do it! I'll do it! I'll do it!

**Amy:** And you won't be a deadbeat?

**Dr. Eggman:** No ma'am!

**Amy:** Just what I thought.

_Count Bleck and the Accountant just stared at Amy as Eggman got up and the two resumed their places._

**Amy:** Well? Come finish the job!

_Count Bleck and the Accountant both took their places and began to finish it._

**Count Bleck:** OK, so blah blah blah blah, Count Bleck now pronounces you marrried!

_Just as those words were spoken, a giant blob of dark matter in all sorts of different shades came rising out the middle._

**Count Bleck:** Behold, Count Bleck says. Pure Chaos!

**Everybody:** What?

**Count Bleck:** Well, since the Chaos Heart failed, I decided to combine it with what they call "Chaos Emeralds"!

_Everybody gasped._

**Amy:** It isn't that shocking, Everybody.

**Everybody:** It's shocking to me!

_Just then, Tails ran in._

**Tails *out of breath:** Sorry I'm late! My invite must have gotten lost in the mail.

**Count Bleck:** Count Bleck didn't sent you an invite.

_Tails sweatdropped._

**Tails:** Anyways, what's going on here!

**Count Bleck:** Nothing you can stop, Foxy!

_The altar then began to fall apart as Tails began to race towards Pure Chaos. But, alas, he could not reach it. Everything faded to white as the title was shown. Somebody threw a rotten tomato at the screen._

_**And so the story hath begun. Care? I don't.**_

**A/N: And that's about it. Review and rate out of ten! Also, no flames unless you wanna be flamed back. So anyways, good night and good luck.**


	2. Chapter 0:1

**A/N: Hello, peeps! I'm back once again! And Jakeroo, if you wanna know why Tails's portraying Luigi I'M NOT GONNA TELL YOU! But...Who else was I supposed to pick? Knuckles? Shadow? ROUGE! Really, who?**

_**Stuff happens. And in all fictions, that's the real goal, ain't it? Well duh. Anyways, after the wedding happened everybody woke up with a hangover and no recollection of the event. How sad. I'm pretty sure YOU don't wanna remember it either but too bad, suckers! Here it is! Lo and behold!**_

**Chapter 0-1  
><strong>**Chaos, Getting Back on Topic and Shaving**

_It was a lovely day in where ever Sonic lived in this story. In this case, however, he lived in a place resembling the Mushroom Kingdom. In a house resembling Mario's. It resembles much, don't it? Anyways, Sonic and Tails were sitting a table resembling Mario's in a room that resembled Mario's. More resembling, yeah!_

**Tails:** So, what you wanna do?

**Sonic:** I dunno. You got over that hangover yet?

**Tails:** I got over it yesterday.

**Sonic:** You got it yesterday.

**Tails:** Oh.

_The two stared at each other awkwardly for a second before they got back to the script._

**Sonic:** So, what do you wanna do?

**Tails:** I really don't know. Besides, you noticed how boring it's been lately?

**Sonic:** Yes. Yes I have. Not even staring at the cover of MAD #513 helps!

**Tails:** You mean the one that parodies that Nirvana album's cover?

**Sonic:** Yeah.

_Sonic then looked at the camera._

**Sonic:** Remember kids, you can get your copy this December!

**Tails:** What if it's 2012?

**Sonic:** Then they're screwed.

**Tails:** Anyways, can we please get back on topic?

**Sonic:** No, I think we should explain you're representing Luigi. It's really simple. You see-

**Director:** Shut the ** up and get back to the **ing script!

**Sonic:** No!

**Director:** You wanna be in ANOTHER hentai fiction?

_Sonic thought about it for a second before answering._

**Sonic:** So, uh, Tails, you're as bored as I am?

**Tails:** Yeah, I wish something would happen.

_Just then, they heard a loud crash and the shouting of a Chao._

**Chao:** Chao! Chao Chao! (Help! Help me!)

_Sonic and Tails ran outside._

**Sonic:** BillyBob, what is it?

**BillyBob:** Chao Chao Chao Chao Chao! (Princess Sally has been kidnapped!)

**Sonic:** She hasn't been kidnapped, she's a robot now.

**Tails:** And I think I read somewhere she's trying to get Mecha Sally in the Sonic fanfiction archives.

**BillyBob:** Chao. Chao, Chao Chao Chao Chao! (Weird. Anyways, go to Eggman's Castle!)

**Sonic:** Since when did Eggman have a castle?

**BillyBob:** Chao Chao Chao Chao. (Bought it on eBay.)

**Tails:** So that's the guy I sold the deed to!

_Sonic sighed and the duo ran off. I would called them Christmas coloured, but they're blue and yellow. Maybe they're Beach coloured. So anyways, we cut to Eggman's new castle. Eggman was in his new throne room gloating about something or other._

**Eggman:** Neyah heh heh! Listen to me, my robot slaves!

**Robot #2772:** Do we have to?

**Eggman:** Listen here: You WILL listen and you WILL like it!

**Robot #2772:** Aw man.

**Eggman:** Anyways, my glourious new plan is almost ready! Let us review, shalt we?

_Eggman then suddenly whipped out a pair of London Tipton Brand "Smart Glasses", put them on his face and pulled out a chalk board. On it was a picture of Alfred E. Neuman's head and a complicated equation that read "Knuckles likes Kiss!". Eggman erased everything off the board and began to write his plan down._

**Eggman:** OK, so here we have a robot that had Egg in it's name but has nothing to do with Eggs...

_Eggman drew a robot on the board, very crudely I must add._

**Eggman:** Next we have our targets...

_Eggman drew Sonic (as a stickfigure) and various other Sonic characters. It should be noted that the only one that didn't look crude was Sally, who looked like a robot in Eggman's drawing._

**Eggman:** Add some effects...

_Eggman drew a heart around Amy for some reason. Nobody knew why._

**Eggman:** Now let me explain-

**Robot #1220:** You're gonna attempt to attack Sonic and his crudely drawn friends, but they'll succeed. It'll also, for some reason, take thirteen issues to resolve.

**Robot #1119:** And don't forget to explain nothing about the last issues!

**Eggman:** Okay, everybody just shut up! But, yes, that is my plan... Grambi, I'm a loser.

**Robot #1119:** The heck you are!

**Eggman:** I told you to shut up! Anywho, after we fail, I plan to let us all finally watch _Citizen Cane!_

_Every robot then suddenly went nuts, cheering like there was no tommorw. And for some reason, Eggman forgot that he told everybody "to just shut up". I guess he has a poor memory._

**Eggman:** Thank you, my loyal servants! Thank you, thanks- Hey! You two in the back! What's with the hairy faces? We SHAVE around here, servnats!

**Robot #987654321:** Then why don't you?

**Eggman:** Because my moustache can kick your moustache any day of the week.

**Robot #987654321:** I don't have a moustache. In fact, I'll never have one.

**Eggman:** So there you go.

_Eggman then lept off of his perch, went a surprising distance and then finally landed in front of Sonic & Tails. The judges then held up signs that read "9.7", "8.3", 9.4" and "7.6" respectively._

**Eggman:** OK, What do you two schmucks want?

**Sonic:** We came here to rescue Sally-

**Tails:** Amy.

**Sonic:** -from your EVIL clutches!

**Eggman:** I don't have Sally. OR Amy for that matter. And is it weird to say that not only is my grammar horrible, but I have a strange lust for pink hedgehog?

**Sonic:** As long as you don't turn into Chris or Elise, you're fine. Anyways, what do ya mean you don't have either of them?

**Eggman:** I don't have either of them.

**Sonic:** Well thanks, Captain Obvious.

**Captain Obvious:** Anytime!

**Director:** OK, who let him on the set? That wasn't funny and it never will be! It's like the condom on the golf club from "You Don't Love Me Anymore"!

**Sonic:** Anyways... If you don't have them, where are they?

**?:** Count Bleck says she's right here!

_Count Bleck then flipped onto the scene, Amy right next to him, trapped._

**Count Bleck:** Count Bleck says he is here now! This fiction is now dramatic again!

**Sonic:** Oh my gosh! Amy!

**Amy:** Sonic... Help me...

**Count Bleck:** Count Bleck says for you to shut up!

**Eggman:** Don't try it, it doesn't work.

_Count Bleck ignored Eggman and looked around the room they were in._

**Count Bleck:** Count Bleck says this room looks familiar.

**Eggman:** It should be! This place cost 50 bucks!

**Sonic:** TAILS, YOU SOLD THIS PLACE FOR 50 BUCKS?

**Tails:** But it was a bargain!

**Sonic:** I mean... You... Us... GAH!

**Count Bleck:** Count Bleck says enough about eBay! Count Bleck now summons a black hole to suck you in!

_Just then, Count Bleck opened his cape and everybody started to get sucked in._

**Robot #784573:** No! He's sucking us into his junk!

_Yeah, for some reason, everybody but Sonic was sucked in. Maybe he had cement in his shoes? So, after all Hell broke lose, Sonic fell into a coma and didn't wake up for a few hours._

**Sonic *muttering in sleep*:** Yeah... Look up that Yuri Porn on Google Images... Wait, DeviantART is better? I'll go visit it... LOOKIT DAT POON!

**?:** ...onic...

**Sonic *muttering in sleep*:** No... Lemme sleep ten more minutes... Reading Yuri fiction about Amy and Blaze... LOOKIT DEM GO AT IT!

**?:** Sonic...

**Sonic *muttering in sleep*:** Shut the heck up... AMY'S SUCKING ROUGE'S HONEYPOT! IT'S SO HOT!

**?:** Wake up!

_Sonic woke with a start, jumped in the air and somehow landed on his feet._

**Sonic:** WOAH! What a rush!...anyways, who the heck are you?

**?:** I'm Tippi. I'm a pixl.

**Sonic:** How many?

**Tippi:** Excuse me?

**Sonic:** How many pixels? 8, 16 or 32?

**Tippi:** Pixl doesn't have an "e" in it.

**Sonic:** Then why are you called that?

**Tippi:** Because- Oh, screw it. We're going now.

**Sonic:** Where?

**Tippi:** Somewhere. You'll see.

**Sonic:** Hold on a sec, I've always wanted to do this!

**Tippi:** Wha-

**Sonic *singing*:** Exit light! Enter night! Take my hand! Off to Never-Neverland!

**Tippi:** It's not Neverland!

**Sonic:** Aw man, I wanted to meet Peter Pan. Hey, that rhymed!

**Tippi:** OK, we're going!

_Suddenly, a muse dragged across the screen over both Sonic and Tippi. The person using the mouse then left-clicked and selected "Cut". He then went to search for the file._

_**And so Sonic has been drafted into something he has no idea about! I bet you have an idea because, if you don't, play the dang game! But what happened to Amy? Where'll Eggman end up? Will he ever get over his lust? Why is Tails playing Luigi? Is it just an excuse to type "Mr. T" over and over again? Where's Sally? Who's portraying Daisy? Will the guy using the mouse ever find the file? Tune in next time to find out! Same Bat-Time! Same Bat-Channel!**_

**A/N: I love typing parodies. They allow me to throw my hands up and make fun of whatever I want to! Even myself! And yes, the next cover of MAD does have Obama on it parodying the cover of the Nirvana album "Nevermind". Weird, huh? Anyways, I'm That Gamer, saying "Good night and good luck."**


	3. Chapter 0:2

**A/N: Well, the third chapter's here. Can't think of anything witty to say here. So... Yeah.**

_**After going to Eggman's new castle, Sonic got abducted by a butterfly barfed out by the Reading Rainbow and taken by a cursor to a place only Grambi knows where. What will Sonic get into? Will you care? Most likely not. But you're reading this anyways, so here we are.**_

**Chapter 0-2  
><strong>**Merlin, Emerald Hearts and Artists**

_Finally, the mouse found the right file and pasted Sonic and Tippi into it. The two "flipped" on top of a very tall tower where some kind of Merlin knock-off was waiting for something._

**Merlin Knock-Off:** Ah-ha! Tippi, you're back!

**Tippi:** Of course I am. Here's the guy you wanted.

**Merlin Knock-Off:** Guy? I sent you for a pizza! Where is it?

**Tippi:** You never said anything about Pizza! You said, and I quote, "Go fetch me a blue hedgehog!"

**Merlin Knock-Off:** No, no, no, I said "Go fetch a..."

_Merlin was silent for a moment._

**Merlin:** But I still want one!

**Tippi:** LATER!

**Merlin:** Why? What's going on now?

**Tippi:** You told me an hour ago!

**Merlin:** Really? Seemed a lot longer then that...

**Sonic:** Hey! Why am I here?

_Tippi and Merlin both looked at Sonic for a moment._

**Tippi:** Oh, yeah, almost forgot... You're here for a reason...

**Merlin:** Yes, the blue hedgehog from my book!

**Sonic:** What book? And you know this counts as kidnapping, right?

**Merlin:** Well, from where I come from, which is right here, we just replace the word "kidnapped" with "adopted" and everything's fine.

**Sonic:** No thanks. I already got a plumber looking after me. And speaking of "where you come from" where is here?

**Merlin:** Flipside, mah boi! A world in-between worlds! Think of this place as that place where four states meet: It's cool at first to be standing in four states, but then the novelty wears out when you realize that you're basically standing in an easy transport from one state to the next.

**Sonic:** Fascinating. Now who are you?

**Merlin:** Me! Oh, right, I'm, uh...

_Merlin quickly checks the back of his hand._

**Merlin:** Merlon!

**Sonic:** So you're basically Merlin?

**Merlon:** Didn't you hear me? I said Merlon!

**Sonic:** Sounds like Merlin.

**Merlon:** Mer_lon_.

**Sonic:** Whatever Merlin. So why am I here?

**Mer_lon_:** Right!

_Mer_lon _checks the back of his foot._

**Mer_lon_:** You are here because of that big purple thing in the background. It was here once long ago in a game with a very similar title where one hero was whisked away by a butterfly coloured by a deranged toddler-

**Tippi:** Hey!

**Mer_lon_: **Quiet you. Anyways, the hero also met three allies: His supposed love interest who really isn't his love interest, his brother who doesn't show up until very close to the end and his arch-rival who may be married to the supposed love interest. I think the game was called... "Lester the Unlikely".

**Sonic:** OK then. So what do I have to do with any of that?

**Mer_lon_:** According to my book, which I got for three bucks from a very nice fox-

**Sonic (thoughts):** Why must Tails sell the most important plot devices?

**Mer_lon_:** -who's mother for some reason is a hunk of rock-

**Sonic (thoughts):** Why would Miley sell that? In fact, why would Miley have that in the first place? I... Don't get it. What a plothole.

**Mer_lon_:** -and the rock's husband is a mutant squirel with two tails-

_Everybody on Earth facepalmed._

**Mer_lon_:** -YOU are the only one who can save all the dimension from total destruction, as I previously stated. You must find eight hearts which were previously dubbed "Pure Hearts" until your Emeralds came around and changed them to "Emerald Hearts" and put them in eight pillars! Simple, right?

**Sonic:** Well, I'll admit, it sounds a lot like finding the Chaos Emeralds. Maybe it'll easier, I dunno. Hmm... Fine, I'll do it. Where's the first one?

**Mer_lon_:** Right here! _(holds it up)_

_Sonic's opens his mouth in awe at the thing while Tippi mentally facepalms._

**Sonic:** AND YOU NEVER DID ANYTHING WITH IT?

**Mer_lon_:** I was waiting until sombody gullible like you came along to take it.

**Sonic:** So...?

**Mer_lon_:** Here!

_Mer_lon_ tosses the Emerald Heart into the air and it floats over to Sonic, accompanied by a Heavenly choir and the sparlkes eminating from the Emerald Heart, making it look like more majestic then, well, something, I'm stuck on this one. The Emerald Heart then fell on Sonic so hard, it nearly killed him._

**Sonic (gasping for air):** This... things.. weighs... a ton!

**Mer_lon_:** Well DUH! I spent months lifitng weights to be able to pick that thing up!

**Sonic (still gasping):** And?

**Mer_lon_:** Not to over use an already overused phrase, but I made guns that never needed to be reloaded! Woo-cha!

_Tippi sighs and gets the Emerald Heart off of Sonic so he could get up._

**Tippi:** I think it'd be much wiser to use that intergalactic pocket of yours.

**Sonic:** My what?

_Sonic looks at himself and he, indeed, has a pocket._

**Sonic:** By the circle makers themselves!

_Sonic goes over the Emerald Heart and opens the pocket. Instantly, the Emerald Heart jumped into the pocket while a text box overhead read "You got a Crystal Star!... Er, Emerald Heart! Sorry, those two things are very similar..."_

**Sonic:** Neat! I wonder what else I can put in there.

**Tippi:** I'm sure you can fit a lot of stuff. Now I think we should go find that pillar.

**Sonic:** Sure. Bye Merlin!

**Mer_lon_:** Mer_lon_!

**Sonic:** Does it look like I care?

_Tippi gives another sigh as the two go over the left side of the tower._

**Tippi:** See this pillar?

**Sonic:** Yeah.

**Tippi:** If you press up in front of it, you can go in.

**Sonic:** Press what?

**Tippi:** Up.

**Sonic:** Where?

**Tippi:** On your controller.

**Sonic:** I don't have one.

**Tippi:** I was telling the player.

**Sonic:** Who?

**Tippi:** The person- Never mind. Just call the elevator.

**Sonic:** Fine.

_Sonic "presses up" like Tippi said and the elevator draws itself in front of them. Sonic steps inside. He presses the button for the bottom floor. About three minutes later, Spider-Man comes in. Sonic looks at him._

**Sonic:** Looks uncomfortable.

**Spider-Man:** Gets kinda itchy...

_Sonic nods at the statement for some reason._

**Spider-Man:** Rides up in the crotch a little bit, too.

**Sonic:** Er... OK then.

_The elevator hits the bottom floor and Sonic gets out, leaving Spider-Man to wallow in his pointless cameo._

**Tippi:** C'mon, Sonic.

**Sonic:** Sure. By the way, you kind of remind me of somebody...

**Tippi:** Who?

**Sonic:** Starts with an "n"... I know! That annoying fairy from The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time!

**Tippi:** Hey!

**Sonic:** Exactly.

_Sonic and Tippi go over to the elevator and Sonic presses up again. This time, however, when the elevator opens, the whole thing is sideways. Sonic steps in, confused, and hits the button Navi- Er, Tippi tells him to. The elevator goes sideways for a bit until the door opens. Sonic steps out and the door closes behind him._

**Sonic:** What was that?

**Tippi:** I'm guessing it's one of the million elevator jokes.

**Sonic:** Oh.

_Sonic and Tippi go all the way to the left, where the find a giant slab of marble._

**Artist:** _(pops out from the "front" of the pillar)_ Oh, M. Hérisson! Ne vous inquiétez pas, je suis un artiste terriblement galvaudé français! Je viens de terminer la sculpture la chose du cœur dont vous avez besoin!

_Sonic and Tippi look at him silently for a moment._

**Artist:** Put the damned Emerald Heart in there!

**Sonic:** Oh, right!

_Sonic opens his intergalactic pocket and the Emerald Heart floats up all magic-like, with the same sparkles and choir from the last time. It goes over to the pillar where it enters the Heart shape the artist carved in. After a giant display of crazy effects (six words that sum up every slideshow on YouTube), a door appears on top of the pillar._

**Tippi:** OK, now that that's done, let's go back up.

**Sonic:** Sure. Mind if I call you Beat?

**Tippi:** Why?

**Sonic:** No reason.

**Tippi:** Um... Sure?

_So Sonic and Tippi (Beat) go back up to the top of the tower where Mer_lon_ is waiting._

**Mer_lon_:** So you got my beard wax?

**Tippi:** You never asked for any!

**Mer_lon_:** Yes I did!

**Tippi:** For the love of...

**Sonic:** Merlin! What's up with the door?

**Mer_lon_:** The door? You don't know about it?

**Sonic: **I know what a door is I just wanted to know why it's here since it-

**Mer_lon_:** This door is everything! Without this door, we would be nothing! The door is who you are! The door is what cannot be opened with a key, purchasable from Bored Bath & Be Gone! The door takes you to the first actual chapter!

**Sonic:** The door can do that?

**Mer_lon_:** The door can! The door says "Ha ha"! The door laughs at how stupid you are!

**Tippi:** Can we move on?

**Mer_lon_:** Right, right. Well, not to recite an overused line, but, "It's dangerous to go alone! Take this!"

_Mer_lon_ hands Sonic a pipe._

**Sonic:** Grumble gumble.

**Text Box:** You got the Return Pipe! Select it from the menu to return to Flipside from anywhere!

**Sonic:** WHAT MENU!

**Tippi:** Hey! Last time I did this shtick you said some places the signal wouldn't reach!

**Text Box:** Well I'm not changing it! This isn't Burger King, we can't have it your way! We must have it Mario's way!

**Tippi:** Really!

**Sonic:** Well, I guess we should go now, Beat. Bye Merlin!

**Mer_lon_:** Mer_lon_!

_Sonic simply ignores that and goes through the door._

_**And so our epicly epic quest of epic epicness is final on it's epicly way! What epic-ish things will they find? Will Tippi get Mer**_**lon****_'s moustache wax? Will Sonic unlock the secrets of the door? Will he ever learn to flip? Will he ever learn to flip tease? What filler awaits them? Well you'll have to wait until the chapter after the next because the next chapter is a villain intermission (woo)._**

**A/N: Best writing session ever (even though it is under 2500 words)! I finally got Sonic on his way to Chapter 1-1! Sadly, I decided to give every villain intermission their own chapter, so, yeah. Also, each chapter will have it's own chapter (no, duh). Anyways, that's all I have to say about that. No offence to anybody and good night & good luck.**


	4. Chapter V:1

**A/N: I'm SSSOOO sorry for being so late!... I'm apoligizing to Waterbrooks, incase you wanna know. If you are not a Waterbrook I still apoligize but it's a "so" apolgy not a "SSSOOO" aplogy. So there.**

_**As Sonic went through the door after being sent by the mystically lazy bum known as Mer**_**lon****_, his adventure was finally underway. But now, we cut from the action, to bring you one of the million Villain intermissions. So here's the first one!_**

**Chapter V-1  
><strong>**Diaries, Game of Thrones and Acro**

_In a dark, dark room, we see Count Bleck and his Assistant, Nastasia (such a creative name) were standing on (or more or less floating over) disappearing pieces of graph paper. On the other fading cages were Count Bleck's minions, save for one._

**Count Bleck:** Bleh heh heh heh heh heh _(coughs)_ Nastasia! Get Count Bleck a cough drop!

**Nastasia:** Sorry, sir, we ran out yesterday.

**Count Bleck:** What? Count Bleck demands to know why!

**Nastasia:** You remember that Acro we let stay here for some reason?

**Count Bleck:** Count Bleck remembers...

**Nastasia:** Apparently item number 161 has something to do with cough drops, so she took them all.

**Count Bleck:** Ugh! Count Bleck swears that Acro will pay!

**Nastasia:** Sir, they're just cough drops.

**Count Bleck:** Count Bleck says only a fool would think that. Only Count Bleck knows that hundreds of people go everyday with cough drops and Count Bleck considers himself one of the more fortunate!

**Nastasia:** Mkay, think whatever you want, sir...

**Count Bleck:** Anyways, that black hole thingy we sent finally ripped through the dimension! It is starting it's sucking!... Of worlds!... Because those worlds sucked... Count Bleck needs something to un-awkward this!

**Johnny Depp:** I thought a Verruca was a wart you got on the bottom of your foot.

**Count Bleck:** Count Bleck thanks Johnny Depp. Anyways, it's only a matter of time before all worlds meet their end!

**Nastasia:** Sir, could you remind me and the reader why you're doing this?

**Count Bleck:** Because Count Bleck thinks this is what all heartbroken virgins do! Smart, eh?

**Nastasia:** Mkay, you do that.

**Count Bleck:** Now, as Count Bleck was saying, the Void has ripped through the fabric of space and time and all that other stuff Count Bleck has very little time to look up on Wikipedia! It is only a matter of time until the worlds meets it doom by the hands out Count Bleck!... AGAIN!

**O'Chunks:** [in a really gay voice] Like, OMFG! That's so good! I really gotta, like, Tweet about this!

**Count Bleck:** ...Count Bleck wants to know what kinda drugs you're on... 'Cause that isn't normal for you... At all... Count Bleck is actually a little scared by you.

**Dimentio:** [sighs] Like somebody diagnosing a possessed person, we all know that's not you.

**Count Bleck:** Count Bleck says that metaphor sucks.

_Dimentio growls at Count Bleck._

**Dimentio:** Well EXCUSE me! Like an untrained preformer, I am not used to doing the same shtick twice! Like an obvious question, we all know the answer! We all know this story! Why build any suspense?

**Count Bleck:** Count Bleck says shut up or else he'll send in Acro.

_Acro came in slyly, Icefox accompanying her like the blind little follower she is._

**Acro:** You rang?

**Dimentio:** Eep! [tapes mouth shut]

**Acro:** I thought so.

_She and Icefox left._

**Count Bleck:** So anyways, without any further interruptions-

_Just then, O'Chunks (not the first one, the other one) fell from the ceiling. He missed his cage entirely and instead landed facefirst on the ground._

**O'Chunks II:** Sorry I'm late... [looks up at O'Chunks I] 'Ey! I beat myself here again! New record!

_Dimentio rolls his eyes and writes something on a piece of paper. He then shoved it in O'Chunks II's face. It read: "That's Mimi."_

**O'Chunks II:** Hey! Nobody goes around imitating O'Chunks! [gets up off the floor] Only O'Chunks can do that!

**Mimi:** I have a liecense to do this.

**O'Chunks:** No ya don't!

**Mimi:** Yes I do. [shows O'Chunks license]

_O'Chunks took the license and stared it for a while._

**O'Chunks:** [in a Scottish accent] POEMS! So we've got a poet here!

**Mimi:** Um... Wrong card! [grabs card back]

**O'Chunks:** It was dated, I notice. So you write your diary entries in rhyme?

**Mimi:** Uh...

**Director:** I feel awkward staring at this... Mimi, you can come in now!

_Mimi then walked in from the right and went directly to the top of the cage, O'Chunk's stunt-double going backstage, muttering something about not getting payed enough._

**Mimi:** Uh... No! I don't!

**Dimentio:** [on second sheet of paper: "That is true. They're lyrics. So basically, she writes Rebecca Black songs."]

**Mimi:** I do NOT!

**Count Bleck:** COUNT BLECK WANTS YOU ALL TO SHUT UP RIGHT NOW!

_Everybody stared at the Count. They hadn't seen him this angry since he was accepted into this project!_

**Count Bleck:** Now, as Count Bleck was saying, the worlds will end soon! And soon, my perfect world will exist! One without rap music!

**Mimi:** Not to offend you, County-

**Count Bleck:** Count Bleck doesn't want you to call him "County"!

**Mimi:** Yes County. Anyways, not to offend you, but that really is a stupidly overused comment made by old comment.

**Count Bleck:** Count Bleck isn't old!

**Mimi:** OK, County. [checks watch] Hey! Game of Thrones is on! [teleports off to watch it]

**Count Bleck:** But Count Bleck hasn't made his speech yet! A speech about why he is trying to destroy the world again!

**O'Chunks:** Didn't ya 'ear 'er? Game o Thrones! I love dat opening! [goes off to watch it as well] This why I eat beans!

**Dimentio:** Like a, insert meaphor here, I will join them, too.

**Count Bleck:** Count Bleck wants to know if it's the opening.

**Dimentio:** YES! [teleports of to watch it]

**Count Bleck:** Count Bleck wants you to remember, we have to get those new guys later!... And Count Bleck sees that they're gone. Come, Nastasia, Count Bleck wants to make "interdimensional" a word.

**Nastasia:** Why?

**Count Bleck:** Count Bleck was typing up his victory speech on OpenOffice and it kept wanting me to spell the word with a dash! Count Bleck was very offended! [teleports off]

**Nastasia:** M'kay...

_**Pointlessness! Thine name is That Gamer! Anyways, will Count Bleck make interdimensional a word? What will happen in the next episode of "Game of Thrones"? Will Acro ever return for another cameo (that's obvious)? Will O'Chunk's stunt-double ever stunt-double anything? Tune in next time for a much better chapter (most likely not)!**_

**A/N: Sorry for the delay! But I decided while writing that last bit that the villain intermissions would be shorter then the actual chapters. Why? They're just exposistion! Oh, and if you're wondering where the "Game of Thrones" thing came from, watch the couch gag for The Simpsons episode "Exit Through the Kwik-E-Mart". So, as they say in Latin, "Bonum nocte et fortuna".**


	5. Chapter 1:1

**A/N: Acro knows of this fiction's existence. And Chuggaconroy's doing a Super Paper Mario Let's Play! Heck yeah! And now, for your viewing pleasure, chapter 1-1 (at last)!**

_**After wandering through a long and dark passage for about three hours on end, Sonic finally reached the other side. He was a little scared by the length, but then Christian Weston Chandler showed up and Sonic crapped his pants he wasn't wearing. But what's Sonic gonna do now? Is he finally gonna learn how to flip? Well duh!**_

**Chapter 1-1  
><strong>**Jokes, Hentai and Bad Hearing**

_The land drew itself on a Paint document. Trees and hills grew out of nothing, forming the landscape. A door was drawn in the middle and Sonic emerged from it._

**Sonic:** Thanks for warding off that Autistic twat, Beat. I thought my credibility was done for.

**Tippi:** All I had to do was show him a video of his house on the internet. I didn't do much.

**Sonic:** Actually, I'm curious – where did you get an iPhone?

**Tippi:** Everybody has one now a day. Even though it's less of a phone and more of a glorified iPod...

_Sonic shrugged and went along his way. A little ways up the dirt road that wasn't viewable in 2D, Sonic came across a Goomba._

**Sonic:** What are you doing here?

**Goomba:** Count Bleck rehired us because we work for less.

**Sonic:** But robots work for free.

**Goomba:** But we work for less.

**Sonic:** How's that so?

**Goomba:** We pay HIM.

**Sonic:** But you don't get paid anything!

**Goomba:** Bowser pays us.

**Sonic:** But how can that be? He's not there, where ever Count Bleck is.

**Goomba:** Bowser gave Eggman his credit card and, apparently, Amy and Eggman combined their accounts.

**Sonic:** Why?

**Goomba:** It says their married.

**Sonic:** HOW?

**Tippi:** Would you just hurry up and step on him!

**Sonic:** Fine...

_Sonic jumped on the Goomba and crushed him flat. A random number 100 came out of him and flew upwards, disappearing. Sonic accidentally got the 1 stuck in his eye. It took him two minutes to pull it out._

**Sonic:** Well, now that that's done with, I'll be going.

_He then came across a wall of blocks standing in his way. He hit the blocks to the left and only one remained. He jumped on top of that. Walking across it, he accidentally tripped and fell off the structure, sideways. Looking to his left, he saw a door._

**Sonic:** Sweet! A door! Beat, can I go in it?

**Tippi:** No, you need to be able to flip into 3D.

**Sonic:** I'm in 2D? How's that possible? It looks like I'm in 3D. If I was in 2D, how I did fall into the foreground?

**Tippi:** You can't.

_Sonic blinks and then falls down the pit. He reappears on the other side of the structure. Sonic wonders how that happened, but he just rolls his eyes and goes on his way. After falling down another pit (once on purpose, another time by accident) and jumping on a purple thing, Sonic saves his game using a save block and goes inside a weird looking house._

**Sonic:** I wondered who built this house. I mean, look, there isn't even another door!

**Tippi:** Just point and I'll show you the way.

**Sonic:** How's that gonna help?

**Tippi:** Just do.

_Sonic sighs and points in front of him. Tippi deconstructs herself and turns into a spinning circle._

**Sonic:** Cool.

**Tippi:** Could you hurry up? It doesn't seem like it, BUT THIS REALLY HURTS!

_Sonic nodded, and pointed around. Eventually, a door appeared in the spotlight._

**Tippi:** Here's a door. Let me make it real.

_The door faded in from white and became real. Tippi then reconstructs herself. Her gasps for air is audible._

**Sonic:** Beat... Are you OK?

**Tippi:** I-I'm good... Let's just keep going.

_Sonic nodded again and went through the door. On the other side was another awesome beard man. He had a sign over reading "BESTOVIOUS! MASTER OF FLIPERS!"_

**Bestovious:** Obey your master! MASTER!

**Sonic:** OK, whatever you say. Can you teach me to flip?

**Bestovious:** To flip? Goodness, I haven't taught this in a while. OK. Give me 10,000 coins.

**Sonic:** WHAT? No! I use RINGS in my world!

**Tippi:** And he's the hero of worlds!

**Bestovious:** He's the hero of worlds? I thought he was an imposter!

**Tippi:** If you thought he was an imposter, then why would you teach him!

**Bestovious:** Look, I'll give him a deal. I'll give you a 27% discount for being the 50th customer!

_Sonic and Tippi both fell down, Anime style. Although Tippi more or less just floated down slowly._

**Bestovius:** 83.8% discount?

**Sonic:** No! Teach us free! I'm the hero of WORLDS!

**Bestovious:** OK, OK...

_A pole came out of the ground._

**Bestovious:** So what you wanna do is...

**Sonic/Tippi:** FLIP, NOT STRIP!

_Bestovious sighed and the pole went back down. He pulled a book out of his robe and checked the pages. He found the page and tossed the book out the window._

**Bestovious:** ZIPPIE-DEE-DO-DAH! HAKUNAH MATTA! PUSHY BUSHY! FFLLIIPP!

_More special effects reserved for a student's first Vegas project apperaed anc covered Sonic. Moments later, they dissapered._

**Text Bawks:** You got the thing! The thing being the ability too flip into 3D! And guess what? No one else can learn it!

**Sonic:** And why won't that be.

**Bestovious:** Come back after Chapter 6 for the Side Quest. So, anyways, all you have to do is press "A" and then BAM, you're 3DS quality!

**Sonic:** WHAT "A" BUTTON!

_Bestovious slaps Sonic._

**Bestovious:** I was telling them!

**Sonic:** Well excuse me, princess...

_Bestovious was about to say something, but then Sonic decids to try his 3D power. Concentrating REALLY hard, he manages to switch dimension._

**Sonic:** Awesome! Now it can be a real 3D Sonic game!

**Tippi:** Actually, you can't stay like this forever.

**Sonic:** And why would that be?

**Tippi:** You see that meter up there?

_Sonic looks up and saw a meter that is slowly decreasing._

**Tippi:** If that hits zero, you get hurt.

_Sonic nods, grabs the two items and goes through the door. Once outside the house, Sonic goes back to the brick blockade and flips into 3D. He went past the bricks and goes through the door._

**Sonic:** I really like this 3D thing, Beat.

**Tippi:** Mm-hm...

**Sonic:** It's a lot better then _Jaws 3D_, that's for sure. But enough of that. Let's move on!

_Skipping ahead a little (after the Squilet Barbeque), Sonic comes to an impassible gap._

**Sonic:** If only Tails were here. He could fly over.

**Tippi:** Well, he's not.

**Sonic:** OK. I'm gonna see if I can jump.

_Sonic runs back, charges up a spin dash, dashes forward, propels himself off the ground and falls into the pit. He reappears back on the ledge._

**Sonic:** Why does this always happen to me?

**Tippi:** I don't know. Why don't you try flipping into 3D?

**Sonic:** And miss out on all the possibilities for jokes? Like me falling into the pit again?

**Tippi:** No. Just flip into 3D.

**Sonic:** Your no fun.

_Sonic flips into 3D and crosses the hill in the background. Sonic is annoyed and Tippi is just relived to be moving on. Past another door, Sonic hits a ? block and a star jumps out,_

**Sonic:** What's that?

**Tippi:** That's a Mega Star. Use it to grow big and become invincible.

**Sonic:** Awesome!

_Sonic grabs the Mega Star and mini-versions of himself draw a giant, 16-bit Sonic._

**Sonic:** This is cool. Well, time to rampage!

_Sonic runs forward, causing chaos and destruction. Tippi tries to keep up. Somewhere down the road, a certain someone sees Sonic in his Mega form._

**Mariotehplumber:** SEGA FINALLY LISTENED TO ME! THEY PUT IN THE CLASSIC SONIC, NOT THE HENTAI SONIC! THEY PUT IN THE F***ING CLASSIC SONIC WITH THE GOOD EYES AND THE GOOD NOSE AND THE GOOD QUILLS AND THE GOOD BODY PROPORTIONS AND THE GOOD ATTITUDE AND THE GOOD SHADE OF BLUE AND THE-

_Sonic steps on him._

**Sonic:** My Grambi, I killed a troll.

**Tippi:** He... He was a troll... It's... Not important.

_Sonic shrinks down to his regular size._

**Sonic:** You OK, Beat?

**Tippi:** I'm fine. Just keep going.

_Tippi lands on Sonic's shoulder and the hedgehog nods. He dashes off to the end of the stage, where he finds a star in a block._

**Sonic:** I have no idea what that is, but I'm gonna hit it anyways.

_Sonic jumps up and hits it. The world around him freezes and everything fades to white._

_**END OF CHAPTER!**_

**A/N: I'm sorry if the ending seems kind of rushed; I just wanted to get this chapter out today. So, anyways, this is That Gamer saying "Bonum nocte et fortuna."**


	6. Chapter 1:2

**A/N: Sorry for not updating for a while. I have AllHailMario's update schedule. But now that I'm back, here's another chapter of that thing that doesn't have any ponies in it.**

_**For your reading pleasure, a hedgehog of blue and a butterfly of multiple colours. They are about to learn the dangers of making a poorly thought out plan, not only for the one, but for the both. And also for your pleasure, a group of people who find something that gives them what they need, but, alas, it is all too much. You are now venturing into... The Twilight Zone.**_

**Chapter 1-2:  
><strong>**Dumplings, Lazy Writing and The Beatles**

**Sonic:** It's a good thing half of the chapter was skipped due to lazy writing.

**Tippi:** It's only lazy writing if the author doesn't want to write something.

**Sonic:** Then, in that case, it's lazy writing.

_Tippi sighs again. They come an impassible gap with a house in the background._

**Sonic:** Well, we tried.

_Tippi grabbed Sonic's tail._

**Tippi:** There's a house in the-

**Sonic:** Wait, a have a stupid idea!

**Tippi:** [to self] This is gonna take forever.

_Sonic takes a few steps back, charges up a spin dash, dashes off and jumps. He misses by a mile._

**Sonic:** [after he comes back] It always worked in Red Mountain...!

**Tippi:** OK, you tried your idea, now just-

**Sonic:** I'm not that stupid! I have ideas that are brighter!

**Tippi:** By a decimal point, I assume.

_Sonic goes back through the door and eventually returns with a winged Koopa._

**Sonic:** If this game is anything like The Legend of Zelda...

_Sonic jumps off the edge with the Koopa._

**Sonic:** I can fly!

_He reappears moments later._

**Koopa:** Well, I help! [kicks Sonic] Now you owe me a MAD book!

**Sonic:** [in pain] You little snitch, I'll get it when I find a place with free Wi-Fi!

**Koopa:** Then try that house in the background!

_Sonic looks in the background._

**Sonic:** Hey, a house! I'll go there when I really need it.

**Tippi:** But you can-

**Sonic:** When I really need to!

**Koopa:** What about my-

**Sonic:** When! I! Need! To!

_The Koopa crosses his arms and pouts while Tippi slams herself repeatedly into the ground, the Pixl equivalent of a facepalm._

**Sonic:** And now it's time for The Son of the Stupid Idea That's Only a Decimal Point Smarter Then the First Idea!

_Sonic pulls a long pole out of nowhere._

**Sonic:** Here's to the London 2012 Olympic Games!

_He tries to make the jump, but ends up failing._

**Sonic:** Um... The Return of the Son of the Stupid Idea That's Only a Decimal Point Smarter Then the First Idea?

_Sonic grabs Koopa again and tries to fly. What a surprise, it has no effect. It cuts to a while later._

**Tippi:** We get it! Move on!

**Sonic:** But I still have to give The Resurrection of the Day of the Night of the Afternoon of the Bride of the Curse of the Revenge of the Insurrection of the Release of the Fandom of the War of the Daughter of the Return of the Son of the Stupid Idea That's Only a Decimal Point Smarter Then the First Idea!

**Tippi:** [desperately] Just go into the house in the background!

**Sonic:** How did you know?

_Tippi gives some kind of voiceless shouting at Sonic. Sonic ignores Tippi and goes down a pipe, dragging Koopa (who I will now name Sully) with him. The pair goes into the background and into the house. Once inside, faint crying can be heard._

**Sonic:** Hey dude, where's your wi-fi?

_..._

**Sonic:** OK, I'll just use it!

_Sonic goes upstairs and tries to find a jack, but finds that tears are falling onto the bed._

**Sonic:** Me thinks there's something in 3D.

**Tippi:** Since when is there not anything?

**Sully:** I'm still gonna get my book, right?

**Sonic:** You shut.

_Sonic smacks Sully and flips into 3D. There he finds a red plumber looking fellow._

**Sonic:** Why are you crying?

**Red:** I woke up wrong one morning... And I woke up normally! And then I leaned on the wrong wall... And I went to The Twilight Zone!

**Sonic:** Aren't we all?

**Red:** So I assume that you're here to help me back to 2D! If you help me, I'll lower the bridge!

**Sully:** [says something in 2D]

**Sonic:** And you'll let me use your wi-fi?

**Red:** Um... Sure.

**Sonic:** OK.

_Sonic grabs onto Red and he flips into 2D._

**Red:** Uh... Wha... YES!

_Red jumps unto the ground and kisses it._

**Red:** LOVELY GROUND! I KISS-ETH THOU! IF I DIE BY THY NONEXISTANT LIPS, LET ANGELS SING ME TO MY FIERY GRAVE!

**Sonic:** Gah! Royal Caplocks Abuse!

**Red:** Well, my freaking out is over. I'll raise the bridge for you.

_Red goes over a pulls a lever, making the bridge appear._

**Red:** By the way, just a question... Who's better? John, Paul or George?

_Sonic thinks about it._

**Sonic:** Beat, what do you think?

**Tippi:** Uh... This isn't important.

**Sonic:** Says you! George is the best!

_Sonic picks himself up from off the ground._

**Sonic:** Well that was rude. He kicked me out of his house!

**Tippi:** And that Koopa is still in there.

**Sonic:** Meh, he can get his own MAD book. Let's go.

_Sonic runs off into the town on the other side of the bridge._

**Sonic:** Where should we go, Beat?

**Tippi:** My sensors indicate that there is another Pixl in this vicinity.

**Sonic:** There's more of you?

**Tippi:** Well, not exactly. You see, Pixls-

**Sonic:** I don't care anymore. I'm going into this building!

_Sonic goes into a random building and sees a pipe behind a mesh wall._

**Sonic:** [thoughts] A pipe behind a mesh wall... Obviously there's something good down there! I hope it's rings! 2 + 2 = 5!

_Sonic flips into 3D, goes behind the wall and into the pipe. Once on the ground, Tippi reappears next to him. In front of Sonic is a series of Thwomps constantly going off._

**Tippi:** Well, we tried.

_Sonic grabs Tippi by the wing._

**Sonic:** I think it's time that I try one of my ideas again... The Release of the Fandom of the War of the Daughter of the Return of the Son of the Stupid Idea That's Only a Decimal Point Smarter Then the First Idea!

_Tippi gulps._

**Sonic:** It's time flip worlds and chew bubble gum!... And I just found some gum!

_Sonic picks dirty gum off of the ground and puts it in his mouth. He spits it out moments later and flips into 3D. Woudln't you know it, the Thwomps are in 2D._

**Tippi:** Wow. I didn't know...

**Sonic:** Now who's idea is only one decimal point smarter then the first idea?

**Tippi:** [grumbles] Yours...

**Sonic:** Now let's run!

_Sonic runs to the other side of the room and heads in the door, Tippi still a little mad over the fact that Sonic had a decent idea. In the room on the other side, the door gets locked up with a cage, so no escape could be made._

**Sonic:** Dang it.. Third time I got locked in a room in 9 months!

**Tippi:** In 9 mon- What?

**Sonic:** Look, a treasure chest!

_Sonic rushes over and opens it, hoping to find money. Instead, a hand pops out._

**Hand:** Please, say to me, you'll let me hold your hand!

**Sonic:** You are a hand.

**Hand:** Damn straight I am! The name's Throeau and I live to recreate Mario 2! I've been waiting in that chest since 1963 for you to come along and free me! I feel fine!

**Sonic:** Why are you referencing The Beatles so much?

**Throeau:** 'Cause I like 'em! And I feel the need to join your party!

**Sonic:** Well, why not?

**Throeau:** Oh, yeah, Throeau's gonna help you reach Strawberry Fields and all places above!

_Throeau circles around Sonic a couple times before stopping and text box boldly proclaims: "The handy Beatles lover Throeau joined your party! Weird name, I know..."_

**Sonic:** And I don't wanna call him Throeau anymore! Mind if I call you George?

**Throeau:** Yes.

**Sonic:** Stop making Beatles references and help me leave this room. Beat, how can I get out of this room?

**Tippi:** There's a block up there. You should probably throw a block at it.

**Sonic:** A block?! That's boring!

**Tippi:** Then how are you going to get it?

**Sonic:** ...

_Sonic throws himself at the block and, weirdly enough, it works. The cage erases itself and Sonic leaves._

**Tippi:** That makes no sense and no matter how I try, I can't make sense of it.

**Sonic:** That was my exact reaction to Carly Rae Jepsen's popularity.

**Throeau:** Who is Carly Rae Jepsen?

**Sonic:** I'll explain later.

_Back on the surface, Sonic notices that there's no way across._

**Sonic:** Well, I'm going to see the bridgemaster in the background. Stay here, you two.

_Sonic goes into the background as Tippi and Throeau watch. Seconds later, Sonic lands right on top of them._

**Tippi:** [under Sonic] That was successful.

**Sonic:** Tippi, would you stop flapping your wings? It's making me feel weird.

**Throeau:** [also under Sonic] Sorry.

_Sonic quickly gets up and looks at Throeau._

**Throeau:** What?

**Sonic:** I'm just going to go see this old man that green guy told me to say.

**Old Man:** Watchitt! You want the bridge raised?

**Sonic:** Yeah. I'm, like, the hero of prophecy.

**Watchitt:** If you are, you must a Pixl shaped like a hand because I just can't raise the bridge for any fool who claims that they're the hero of legend!

**Sonic:** How come you're smarter then that guy who taught me flip?

**Watchitt:** Dumplings! You've met Bestovious!?

**Sonic:** Yeah. So what?

**Watchitt:** Nothing. You want a dumpling?

_Sonic's eyes tear up. He would tell his friends that this was the moment when he learned all about friendship._

**Watchitt:** [eating dumpling] I guess you don't want it. You wanna do my dishes instead? I got this really nice turntable and-

_Sonic frowns._

**Throeau:** For the love of John Lennon! [slaps Watchitt] Raise the bridge!

**Tippi:** And stop referencing a girl's show!

**Watchitt:** Watch it! I can knock your sorry butterfly a$$ all the back to Gandalf the Gray if I wanted to! But, since you asked so nicely.

_Watchitt whips out his iPhone and calls Green._

**Watchitt:** Yellow! Yeah, I know you're name is Green... Yes, I taped Jersey_ Shore_, I just want you to- OK, OK, I will get some eggs for you, just raise the bridge!... Hello?

_Watchitt puts his phone away and the bridge is raised. Sonic just walks away, looking back at Watchitt every now and again._

**Tippi:** Look, there's the end. Just hit it and we can leave.

**Sonic:** Wait, I have to write my letter to Princes Rosalina!

**Tippi:** STOP REFERENCING A- Forget it! J-just forget it!

**Sonic:** Fine.

_Sonic gets a quill and parchment off the ground and starts writing on it._

**Sonic:** [as he's writing] Dear Princess Rosalina. Today I learned how wonderful lazy writing can be. You can skip over so much and add so much filler, but at the same time have it mean something. Bah, who am I kidding? Lazy writing is awful! But at least it suits some writers! Your student, Mario Vinchi.

**Tippi:** This has got to be the dumbest thing ever.

_Tippi hits the star block herself and the chapter ends._

_**And thus another chapter in the story comes to an end. Many things have been left unresolved, but they're not important. But everything is important when you're in... The Twilight** **Zone.**_

**Tippi:** Shut up, Rod.

**A/N: And there you go. This only took two days to write and, while it may not be my best work, nothing I write is really that good. But I least try harder then some writers I know! Like that chick who write "High Schol"! But I'll save that for another time. I'm That Gamer and vos faciam trans obscura luna.**


End file.
